What men will (and won't) do for love

If any relationship is to work, compromises must be made between both parties. It’s also been said that a lot of women in particular get into relationships with the mentality that they can change whatever undesirable features they see in the men they choose as partners. The last thing you would probably want to do to someone you love is to change what they truly are, but there are things that guys may be willing to change about themselves to show how much you girls mean to them.

What You Can Change

1. Giving up “boys’ night out” is doable. Once a guy enters into a relationship, one of the first things that he gives up is a lot of time spent with his barkada. “The boys” have to take a backseat because the priorities have changed. The old “inuman sessions” need not fade away entirely, but they should grow less frequent since the guy will have to spend more quality time with his girl.

2. You can ask him to give up his toys. Most guys are oversized children who, now that they have steady incomes, will want to buy different toys for themselves. It might be a pair of retro Jordan shoes. It might be a fully articulated 2006 Voltes V toy. It could be the latest tablet computer. Whatever you may call it, you can ask him to splurge less. Serious relationships often have both sides thinking of saving together for more important future expenses.

3. You can help choose his clothes, just don’t force him into things he doesn’t want to wear. Yes, guys are generally slobs. Hence the term “metrosexual” came about for that freak of nature known as the straight guy who dresses well. Ladies can help guys choose what clothes she thinks their man will look good in. Women are also allowed to choose certain combinations of clothes that she sincerely thinks will make their guy even more appealing to them. Just don’t force us into things that are the opposite of what we are. If a guy says he won’t wear a cardigan, don’t make him wear one. Subtle suggestions are good, nagging isn’t.

4. Concerns about his health are always good. It’s only natural for women to want to ask their partner to give up smoking or lessen the drinking or simply eat healthier. After all, you chose to be with these guys so you want to make the experience long and healthy for both of you.

AFP Photo

The Untouchables

1. Let him watch his sports. Most guys love sports. If they’re not actual participants, they’re watching either the NBA, PBA, UAAP, NFL, UFC, or even WWE. These things help guys live out their athletic fantasies (even for just a little bit) and the sports also help keep them in reasonable shape. It’s paramount that you let your man have this for himself. If he offers to bring you along, you can choose to politely decline, but joining him in the experience will be greatly appreciated.

2. Allow him a vice or two. As mentioned earlier, some guys enjoy collecting toys or shoes. Other guys read comics and graphic novels. Still others love playing video games. Let your man have a few of these things if possible. After all, it’s more than likely that some (or all) of these things helped make him the guy you fell in love with in the first place. He’ll still want to spend quality time with you but let him enjoy a little “me time” every so often with these very manageable vices.

At the end of the day, as much as you may want to change your man or ask him to evolve, you should know what kind of relationship you got into and what kind of man this is at his core. Asking him to do things politely can go a long way not just in getting him to modify things about himself, it can also make life more pleasant for you girls so it never hurts to do that simplest of things… talk to your man.

7 Essential Relationship Skills

Communication 

This category involves critically important skills: knowing how to listen, sharing your thoughts and feelings honestly, refraining from criticising and encouraging your partner to share his or her feelings.

Knowledge of Partner

What's his shirt size? What's his favourite food? After communication, simply knowing a lot about your partner is a powerful way of showing that you care, and makes you better equipped to tend to his or her ongoing needs.

Conflict Resolution 

Conflict-resolution skills include techniques such as staying focused on the topic, staying focused on the present, being ready to forgive or apologise, knowing when to take a break.

Life Skills 

Do you plan for emergencies? Do you exercise and stay fit? Studies show that people usually want their partners to contribute a degree of security to a long-term relationship. People also want their partners to take good care of themselves.

Self-Management 

This is not the same as life skills, Epstein insists. People who are skilled at self-management take inventories of their strengths and weaknesses and always strive for improvement. They know how to interpret disturbing events in positive ways and they work hard to reach their goals.

Sex and Romance 

People with strong skills in these areas enquire and care about how to please their partner sexually, set aside time for intimacy, refrain from blaming their partner when sex doesn't go smoothly, and try to stay physically attractive for their partner.

Stress management 

Do you know how to use breathing, meditation, or imagery techniques to help you fight stress? If you know how to avoid or fight stress, you'll be better able to love and support your partner. 

8 Compliments Your Man Wants to Hear

Lately, we've been hearing the same relationship complaint from dudes.

Even though they know to call out how awesome your hair/dress/sense of humor is, they feel like they're not getting the same love back. We consulted the guys at ModernMan.com for their take on the ego-boosting compliments guys are secretly craving from you.
"No One Makes Me Laugh Like You Do"
Guys place a lot of weight on being funny, and they want to know you dig their sense of humor, too. This statement is better than a simple "you're hilarious!" because it broadcasts that he's the funniest guy you know-a massive ego-booster.
"You Give The Best Advice"

Not only do men like to be asked to help solve problems, they want to know that you're listening (and appreciating) what they have to say.

"You're So Big"

That's pretty much a given, right? Even if they're crazy well-endowed, a lot of guys aren't sure how they stack up against other, uh, manhoods - they want to hear that you're impressed. If you've been with a guy for a while, try "I don't know if I'll ever get used to how big you are." "Your Arms Look Sexy"
If your guy logs time at the gym, he wants his hard work to be acknowledged. Try complimenting him on his triceps-it seems more genuine than talking about his biceps.

"Your Butt Looks Amazing in Those Jeans"

Guys aren't used to being objectified-he'll love knowing you think he's a total sex object. "You're Making Me So Hot Right Now"

Pretty much anything you can say during sex or foreplay that lets him know he's doing the right moves is a winner.
"You're So Good At _____"
Even if he's freaking Michael Phelps, your man wants to know that you're aware he has some serious skills. Call it out when he has a great moment, whether it's playing guitar, killing it at co-ed softball, or whipping up a delish meal.
"I Feel Safe When I'm With You" No matter how independent you are, your guy wants to know that he makes you feel protected (even if you are the spider-killer in your relationship).

5 Easy Ways To Make Your Marriage Stronger

These five quick tips will make any marriage stronger. If you’re fed up of fighting, tired of trust issues or just plain bored with each other, read these five tips to make your relationship better. Whether you’re newlyweds or have celebrated your silver wedding anniversary, there’s always room for improvement in a marriage.

1. Make your marriage stronger by addressing old issues—and never bringing them up again.

Fights, jealousy and previous wrongdoings upset our little bubble of romance and can make marriages a tricky minefield. If you find yourself constantly arguing over the same issues, or blowing up in anger over the smallest of triggers, it may be because you and your partner have not addressed some old issues. Next time this happens, try to stay calm and work out why you have reacted in this way. If you identify that you are angry about something that has happened in the past it is time to be brave and sit down with your partner to discuss it. Try not to accuse them. Instead talk through the problem, being as clear as possible about the way you feel. Try to look them in the eyes, as this helps build trust and intimacy. Once you’ve talked through your feelings attempt to work out a solution together. Although it may take a long time to heal this unresolved issue, if you feel you cannot forgive the person, it may be time to walk away. These issues will only continue to repeat themselves.

2. Make your marriage stronger by taking time out.

Between going to work, keeping fit and doing chores, it can be difficult to find the time to spend some decent time with your partner. In the UK alone, a typical childless couple only spends an average of two and a half hours a day with their partner, and of that time nearly an entire hour is spent watching TV. If that sounds familiar it’s time to make some changes. Firstly, have a TV ban and take your partner on some dates. If you’re struggling for ideas, pretend that you are going on your first few dates. Where would you take a guy or girl to impress them; a romantic hillside spot for a picnic or a trendy bar to see a new band? Choose locations that allow you both to talk to one another and ideally that are new to you both. Sharing new experiences will help reinvigorate your love life and will bring you both closer together. Remember, these dates are all about fun, so enjoy it.

3. Make your marriage stronger by changing gender.

The opposite sex can seem like a different species. Men and women have different habits, ideals and needs. Therefore it’s no surprise that we often find it difficult to get along with each other. The key to a good marriage is to understand that we are not alike. We will not always share the same attitudes or perspectives. So, the next time your husband tells you that you are overreacting, or your wife tells you that you don’t care, listen to them. Instead of exploding with rage at their idiocy, ask them why they think that and actually take what they say on board. You then need to explain, clearly and calmly, why you think otherwise. This is not to say that you should use their gender as an excuse when they treat you badly. However, trying to get into one another’s mind-set and understanding why your partner acts in a certain way may help you overcome many nasty obstacles and end a lot of fights.

4. Give your marriage a boost by enjoying more sex.

Sex can become a chore once you’re married, especially if you have been married for many years. Yet, the more we have sex the more we want it. So at times, although it sounds very unromantic, it can be best to just power through and do it a few times a week. Once you’ve combated your reluctance, you’ll reap all of the benefits. Not only are there oodles of health perks to having regular sex, your marriage will also benefit. This is because when we have sex, the love drug oxytocin, is released, which makes us build up a strong bond with our husband or wife. It also promotes trust and makes us feel more generous towards one another. The best way to get more sex is to make sure you and your partner consider it to be a priority. Also try to find a time that suits you. If you get too tired to have sex before bed, try to do it in the morning or when you first get home – make your own rules.   

5. Make your marriage stronger by spending time apart.

Okay, we know that we are at risk of contradicting ourselves, but marriage is all about balance. So although you need to make sure you spend quality time together, it’s also not healthy to live in a two person love nest constantly.  Not only will your partner’s every move start to irritate you beyond belief, but boredom may begin to creep into your marriage. Having your own interests, social scene and hobbies will help keep you stimulated, balanced and healthy, and these qualities will inevitably permeate into your marriage too. The trick to spending time apart is to agree with your partner how much “time off” you want to give each other. Once agreed, find something that excites you. This may be a holiday with friends, a charity challenge or training for a new event, like a 10k or marathon. Choose something that helps you develop as an individual as this will help you feel more independent and more interesting within yourself and your relationship.

How to Let Go of a Past Relationship: 10 Steps to Move On Peacefully

by Lori Deschene

“The amount of happiness that you have depends on the amount of freedom you have in your heart.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Nine years ago my heart was in a million little pieces that formed the basis for a million regrets.

I had my first serious relationship in college, when all my insecurities came to a head. My ex-boyfriend had to juggle multiple roles, from therapist to cheerleader to babysitter.

The whole relationship revolved around holding me up. I realized this soon after it ended—that I spent three years expecting someone else to love me when I didn’t love myself. The guilt and shame kept me single for almost a decade.

I dated, but it was always casual. I’d start getting close to someone and then find a way to sabotage it.

Long after I let go of the man, feelings about the relationship held me back. I was afraid of being vulnerable. I was afraid of being hurt. But mostly I was afraid of hurting someone else again and having to live with that.

If you’ve been holding onto an old relationship, now is the perfect time to let go. Here’s how you can start moving on:

1. Practice releasing regrets.

When a relationship ends, it’s tempting to dwell on what you did wrong or what you could have done differently. This might seem productive—like you can somehow change things by rehashing it. You can’t.

All dwelling does is cause you to suffer. When you start revisiting the past in your head, pull yourself into the moment. Focus on the good things in your current situation: the friends who are there for you and the lessons you’ve learned that will help you with future relationships.

It might help to tell your friends to only let you vent for 10 minutes at a time. That way you’re free to express your feelings, but not drown in them.

2. Work on forgiving yourself.

You might think you made the biggest mistake of your life, and if only you didn’t do it you wouldn’t be in pain right now. Don’t go down that road—there’s nothing good down there!

Instead, keep reminding yourself that you are human. You’re entitled to make mistakes; everyone does. And you will learn from them and use those lessons to improve your life.

Also, keep in mind: if you want to feel love again in the future, the first step is to prepare yourself to give and receive it. You can only do that if you feel love toward yourself; and that means forgiving yourself.

3. Don’t think about any time as lost.

If I looked at that unhealthy relationship or the following decade as time lost, I’d underestimate all the amazing things I did in that time. True, I was single throughout my 20s, but that made it easier to travel and devote myself to different passions.

If you’ve been clinging to the past for a while and now feel you’ve missed out, shift the focus to everything you’ve gained. Maybe you’ve built great friendships or made great progress in your career.

When you focus on the positive, it’s easier to move on because you’ll feel empowered and not victimized (by your ex, by yourself, or by time.) Whatever happened in the past, it prepared you for now—and now is full of opportunities for growth, peace, and happiness.

4.  Remember the bad as well as the good.

Brain scientists suggest nearly 20 percent of us suffer from “complicated grief”—a persistent sense of longing for someone we lost with romanticized memories of the relationship. Scientists also suggest this is a biological occurrence; that the longing can have an addictive quality to it, actually rooted in our brain chemistry.

As a result, we tend to remember everything with reverie, as if it was all sunshine and roses. If your ex broke up with you, it may be even more tempting to imagine she or he was perfect and you weren’t.  In all reality, you both have strengths and weaknesses and you both made mistakes.

Remember them now. As I mentioned in the post 40 Ways to Let Go and Feel Less Pain, it’s easier to let go of a human than a hero.

5. Reconnect with who you are outside a relationship.

Unless you hop from relationship to relationship, odds are you lived a fulfilling single life before you got into this one. You were strong, satisfied and happy—at least on the whole.

Remember that person now. Reconnect with any people or interests that may have received less attention while you were attached.

The strong, happy, passionate person you were attracted your ex. That person will get you through this loss and attract someone equally amazing in the future when the time is right. Not a sad, depressed, guilt-ridden person clutching to what once was. If you can’t remember who you are, get to know yourself now. What do you love about life?

6. Create separation.

Hope can be a terrible thing if it keeps you stuck in the past. It’s not easy to end all contact when you feel attached to someone. Breaking off the friendship might feel like ruining your chances at knowing love again.

It’s helped me to change my hopes to broader terms. So instead of wanting a specific person to re-enter your life, want love and happiness—whatever that may look like.

You will know love again. You won’t spend the rest of your life alone. In one way or another, you will meet all kinds of people and create all kinds of possibilities for relationships—if you forgive yourself, let go, and open yourself up, that is.

7. Let yourself feel.

Losing a relationship can feel like a mini-death, complete with a grieving process.

First you’re shocked and in denial. You don’t believe it’s over and you hold out hope. Next you feel hurt and guilty. You should have done things differently. If you did you wouldn’t be in this pain.

Then you feel angry and maybe even start bargaining. It would be different if you gave it a second go. You wouldn’t be so insecure, defensive, or demanding.  Then you might feel depressed and lonely as it hits you how much you’ve lost.

Eventually you start accepting what happened and shift your focus from the past to the future.

You have to go through the feelings as they come, but you can help yourself get through them faster. For example, if you’re dwelling in guilt, make forgiving yourself a daily practice. Read books on it, meditate about it or write about it in a journal.

8. Remember the benefits of moving on.

When you let go, you give yourself peace.

Everything about holding on is torturous. You regret, you feel ashamed and guilty, you rehash, you obsess—it’s all an exercise in suffering. The only way to feel peace is to quiet the thoughts that threaten it.

Letting go opens you up to new possibilities.

When you’re holding onto something, you’re less open to giving and receiving anything else.

If you had your arms wrapped around a huge bucket of water, you wouldn’t be able to give anything other than that bucket, or grab anything else that came your way. You might even struggle breathing because you’re clutching something so all-encompassing with so much effort.

You have to give to receive. Give love to get love, share joy to feel joy. It’s only possible if you’re open and receptive.

9. Recognize and replace fearful thoughts.

When you’re holding onto a relationship, it’s usually more about attachment than love. Love wants for the other person’s happiness. Fear wants to hold onto whatever appears to make you happy so you don’t have to feel the alternative.

You might not recognize these types of fearful thoughts because they become habitual. Some examples include: I’ll never feel loved again. I’ll always feel lonely. I am completely powerless. Replace those thoughts with: All pain passes eventually. It will be easier if I help them pass by being mindful. I can’t always control what happens to me, but I can control how I respond to it.

10. Embrace impermanence.

Nothing in life lasts forever. Every experience and relationship eventually runs its course.

The best way to embrace impermanence is to translate it into action. Treat each day as a life unto itself. Appreciate the people in front of you as if it were their last day on earth. Find little things to gain in every moment instead of dwelling on what you lost.

When I feel like clinging to experiences and people, I remind myself the unknown can be a curse or an adventure. It’s up to me whether or not I’m strong and positive enough to see it as the latter.

 –

How To Make Your Love Last

How do you keep your relationship going?

By Marie Calica for Yahoo! Southeast Asia

More than 15 years ago, I met an 80-something-year-old man in the Intensive Care Unit waiting room. My late father was in critical condition then, while this man's son who had suffered a heart attack was a few stalls away from my dad. Tito Paquito was this octogenarian's name, and we would see each other every day when it was our turn to keep watch over our respective family members. His wife, Tita Virgie, was a very sweet and beautiful woman who joined him every so often. They would have their packed lunch side by side, would meet with the doctors together, and sat in silence on the hard, uncomfortable plastic chairs of the ICU waiting room. The two had been college sweethearts, I found out during one of our lengthy conversations. And the way they looked at each other and spoke to one another inspired me to want that kind of relationship when I grow old.

Different people have different ways of keeping their relationship going, and so I asked several couples in long-term relationships what their secrets are to staying together:

Take them for who they are—warts and all. "To make one's love last is, from the onset, to accept the other person is a gift from God together with that person's strengths and frailties, seeing that these are complimentary to one's own strengths and frailties. Then, from day to day, consciously make the effort to affirm each other in that love. As the old adage goes: 'take me for better or for worst, but don't take me for granted.'"—John and Peggy, married 44 years

Know your partner's language of love. "We all love the idea of a fairy tale ending, but life's not like that—at least not all the time. When we put our partner in a box and expect them to do things because you do them that way or your best friend's husband or wife does it that way, we'll be disappointed when they don't live up to it. Understand how your partner expresses their love, and appreciate that."—Deena and David, married 21 years

[Professional advice on making marriage last]

Don't sweep issues under the rug. "There are times when we forgo confrontation to keep the peace. That's good sometimes, but if either of you suddenly becomes irritable, then it's time to talk."—Suzi and Paolo, married 11 years

Go long distance. "Being apart has its benefits. The distance is a good thing in a way because you don't ever get 'tired' of the relationship. It also helps ensure that we have a life outside the relationship, which is a healthy thing, long distance or not. It's easier these days of course. When he took his masters some years back, we connected via fax, ICQ, and email only (those were the days when the tech world was transitioning from Wordstar to Word, from DOS to Windows)."—Rowena and Jonathan, together 16 years

[How to make long-distance relationships work]

Take chances. "Be excited to live life every day and experience new things. This type of attitude will definitely show in your actions and show your partner that there is always something great for you two to experience together or even apart. Who wants to be with a boring person? Even if you don't expect your partner to do a new activity with you, just having him (or her) see and feel your zest for life will show him (or her) that being with you is fun and exciting."—Lauren and Ian, married 12 years

[5 date ideas for long-time couples]

Tito Paquito and I lost touch years ago, but I will never forget what he replied when I asked him for the secret to keeping his marriage so strong.  "I still see her the same way I did when we first met," he told me with a twinkle in his eye.

Editor's Note: Do you have other tips when it comes to making love last and strengthening your relationship? Share it with us in the comments section below.

SOURCE: YAHOO.COM

Communication: The Art Of Listening

When a relationship goes sour, one of the first things to suffer is communication. If you can’t communicate with each other, then there is no possible way to salvage the relationship. The thing to do is to prevent communication from ever being a problem. One of the most important aspects of this is to learn how to be a good listener. Listed below are a few guidelines to help you achieve this.

• Give Them Your Undivided Attention
When your lover wants to talk, put everything else out of your mind and actually be there with them while they are talking. You cannot possibly listen to them if you are thinking about other things you would rather be doing, or have to do.

• Listen To What Is Actually Being Said

This is especially true if you are in a disagreement. It is very easy to pick out the things in what your partner is saying that you want to hear and can throw back at them. This is not some high school debate class where you score points for winning an argument, this is your sweetheart and your actions here and now will dictate the course of the rest of your life together!

• Look At Them When They Are Talking To You

Have you ever tried to talk to someone that refused to make eye contact with you? It is very disheartening, especially when you have something important to say. When talking with your sweetie, actually look at them and not around the room.

• Notice The Hidden Emotional Tone Of Your Partner

Very often, your partner won’t say exactly what is on their mind straight away and it is up to you to draw them out. By looking for their emotional tone, through their body language, voice inflections etc., you will get a very good indicator of what is actually bothering them and also how it is affecting them.

• Acknowledge Your Partner

A correct acknowledgement can very often completely resolve a dispute in one go. It has a two-fold effect: 1. It tells your partner that you have heard and understand what they are saying and 2. It makes them feel better by releasing some of the emotional baggage that may have built up on the subject. A good rule of thumb when there is a lot of emotional baggage attached to a situation, is to acknowledge them by repeating in your own words what they have just said to you.

• Remain Calm

If your sweetheart is angry, very often they will lash out at you because you are there and are someone they can take their frustration out on. While this may not be pleasant and the most ideal way to handle a situation, I’m afraid it is part of the job description of being a sweetheart. Realize that it is just a way for your sweetie to vent and resist the urge to get angry back, it will only make things worse.

8 Ways To Handle An Argument

Let’s face it, no one is perfect. No matter how hard you try, or how loving and respectful of a couple you are, you are bound to get into a disagreement once in a while. With a few tips though, it doesn’t have to be something that can harm your relationship. The next time you feel an argument starting to form keep in mind these 8 ways to handle an argument!

1. Give your partner enough space to voice his or her concerns.
I’m sure you hate it when people interrupt you; give your partner the same respect — even if you don’t agree with what they are saying.

2. Make an extra effort to really understand what you partner is trying to say.
It is very easy to fall into the trap of thinking you know what they are saying, when in fact you may not have a clue. If your partner feels like you understand what they are saying, you’ll find a way to end the argument far more quickly.

3. Don’t say something you’ll regret later.
Always consider your relationship like a glass. It is sturdy, tough, beautiful and clear when taken care of, but if it is mistreated or mishandled it can end up scratched, cracked or even broken. Take care in choosing the words you say when you are in the heat of the moment.

4. Don’t bring in past woes.
The past is the past… let it stay there. If you dwell on past occurrences, you’ll never find a solution for the future your partner will feel less loved and respected, and you will always feel negatively towards your partner. People make mistakes. Give your partner the chance to recover from them, and encourage and support them when they make the right choices.

5. Learn to compromise.
If you can learn to compromise, you’ll find yourself in fewer disagreements. If you don’t like something, then agree with your partner to find some middle ground. This also applies the other way. Be willing to come up with alternative solutions for things your partner doesn’t like as well!

6. Realize that no matter what you say, you both may not agree on the issue at hand.
An argument is typically started because you want someone to agree with you about something. You think that the other person must not know all the facts, so you begin to explain it to them. The more your partner still disagrees with you, the more upset you usually get. But, if you realize that sometimes it is best to just let yourselves agree to disagree — you’ll show your partner that you not only respect their opinion, but respect their individuality as well. You never know, maybe later on they (or even you!) might change their mind.

7. Make a commitment to talk about the situation until it is handled.
It’s far too easy to run off and avoid your partner, or give them the silent treatment. Instead, make a commitment right now to each other to respect each other enough to work it out — even if it takes all night. Nothing is unsolvable when you are working together to truly find a peaceful resolution.

8. Make your relationship with your partner your first concern when you are in the middle of a disagreement.
This does not mean bend over backwards for them or compromise your integrity. Just keep in mind that the person you are arguing with is your best friend, lover and soul mate. If you both keep that at the forefront of your mind in an argument, it will keep what matters most away from cruel words or intent — your heart!

Finally, I leave you with one thought on preventing arguments. Let your partner know exactly when something upsets you. I’ve found that many people tend to not speak up when something bothers them, thinking that it is trivial to mention it. Unfortunately, what happens is after repeated times of not speaking up, some small occurrence happens and it ends up being the straw that broke the camel’s back. The other partner, more often than not, has no clue what they are upset about and therefore thinks they are over-reacting. If you find yourself in this situation, deal with each thing as it happens. Don’t let things build up until you explode.

Secrets to Staying

Just about everyone wants to know how they can make their relationship better. They want to know how they can deepen the commitment and love between each partner. Unfortunately relationships are not something you can provide a "to do" sheet for and all will be solved, but with these five key secrets you can certainly improve your chances for getting all you desire out of your relationship.

Do things unexpectedly.
One key secret to a successful relationship is compromise. Meeting halfway on things shows your partner that you really do care about their viewpoint and you are willing to work on making each other happy. Every so often make it a point to do something that you normally would not agree to or feel like doing. When you keep your partner constantly surprised by your actions, you regenerate that "new love" feeling time and time again. So, when your partner asks if you want to try that new restaurant…say yes! If they ask if you want to try a new hobby…say yes!

Show your loyalty.

Nothing strengthens a relationship quite like watching your partner go to bat for you, especially against close friends or family members. It shows that you consider your relationship a team. If you harass one member of a team, you harass them all. When you side with other people against your partner you make them feel alienated and the seeds of hidden resentment become planted. You can show loyalty positively as well by bragging about your partner’s recent accomplishments to friends and family.

Be supportive.

Challenges and opportunities are always going to occur. You can’t stop them from happening. Hopefully for both of you the changes in your lives are positive ones. The secret key here is having a supporting and understanding mate in your corner to help you through your ups and downs. If you lose your job, it’s quite a bit easier to bounce back when you have someone who’s willing to support your choices and any new directions you might want to branch out to. If you want a career or lifestyle change, imagine the difference having someone who will carefully consider and support those changes? When your partner is presenting you with a challenge or an opportunity, treat them the way you’d want to be treated.

Maintain a healthy dose of individuality.
Personal time and space are essential to growing individually. Everyone one needs private time to do the things they want to do. It helps refocus attention to the priorities. Sometimes you or your partner may just need time to release emotions from a bad day, instead of bringing it home with them. Learning to respect and notice when your partner needs some individual time shows that you are committed to not only your relationship, but their long-term happiness as well.

Love your partner.

Love is obviously a crucial element in a successful long-term relationship. But having love isn’t enough. You need to be in love. The phrase "love is a verb, not a noun" certainly applies here. Don’t hesitate to write that quick love note, give that deep kiss, sit next to each other at a restaurant or hold hands in public. The little things go a long way towards establishing a deep, intimate connection with your partner. As simple as it sounds, this action is probably the most commonly overlooked and ignored.

Rules for a Happy Love Affair

• Never both be angry at the same time 
• Never yell at each other unless the relationship is on fire. 
• If one of you has to win an argument let it be your love
• If you love to criticize, do it lovingly 
• Never bring up mistakes of the past
• Neglect the whole world rather than each other
• At least once everyday try to say one kind or complimentary thing to your love one 
• When you have done something be ready to admit and ask forgiveness. 
• Never go home w/an argument unsettled 
• Always have love, care and understanding everyday of the year.

Thinking of You!

Too True, Too Often

Too often we don't realize
What we have until it is gone
Too often we wait too late to say
"I'm sorry - I was wrong."

Sometimes it seems we hurt the ones
We hold dearest to our hearts
And we allow foolish things
To tear our lives apart.

Far too many times we let
Unimportant things into our minds
And then it's usually too late
To see what made us blind.

So be sure that you let people know
How much they mean to you
Take that time to say the words
Before your time is through.

Be sure that you appreciate
Everything you've got
And be thankful for the little things
in life that mean a lot.

Friendship Of The Souls by Lisa Teller

Have you ever felt like you knew someone a long, long time ago?

Another place, another time, a friendship of the souls?

Two people who share a bond for reasons neither know,

A feeling that they were friends, a long, long time ago?

Did they stumble onto each other by pure circumstance,

Or was it fate and destiny that played a certain hand?

Two souls intertwined, they are worlds apart,

But the soul, it knows no difference, in matters of the heart.

Somehow they are drawn together, fate has brought them back,

Each living worlds apart, they journey separate paths.

When this life is over, and a new life begins,

Their souls will find each other, two souls that we call friends.

Friendship by Trudy Starling

When you feel sad and betrayed Who can you count on every single day? When you feel lost and alone Who will be there for you in every way? When you've made mistakes and bad decisions Who can you count on to tell you you're wrong? When you feel you can't go on Who will be there with a feel-better song? Look into your heart and you will find That person you can trust is not far away. Look deep into yourself, don't give up, For if you do, it's yourself you'll betray. When you're looking for answers To all your questions and dreams, There is one person you can count on, It's impossible, I know, it seems. But take a few moments to look deeper inside. Look into your heart and there you will see. You'll be surprised when you find out That you've been looking at ME.

The Art of Letting Go

It’s over…
You’re gone…
Why do we have to part…?
When the love is still there?
Why do we have to suffer?
Why do we have to cry, when someone bids goodbye?
Why does beginnings have to end?
Why do we have to meet someone only to lose them in the end?

There are questions left unanswered, words left unsaid, letters left unread, song left unsung, love left unexpressed, promises left unfulfilled…

In a relationship, one of the hardest things to do is saying goodbye and letting go. It is hard as breaking crystal because you’ll never know when you’ll be able to pick up the pieces again. More often than not, they who leave feel not the pain of parting, it is who stay behind who suffers, because they are left w/memories of a love that was meant to be, a love that was….

At the beginning and at the end of a relationship, we feel embarrassed to find ourselves alone. Unfair as it may seem, but that’s the way love goes. That’s the drama, the bitter sweet and risk of falling in love. After all, nothing is constant but change. Everything will eventually come to its end w/out us knowing why now we must forget, not because we want to but we have to…

In letting go, sorrows come not as a single spy, but a battalion. It seems that everywhere I go everything I do. Every song I hear, every turn of my heart, every blink of my eyes and every breath I take always reminds of you. It’s like a stab of knife, a torture in the knight…..

I don’t know if it’s worth calling an art, but letting go entails a special skill, sparkle w/a considerable space and time. Time heals all wounds but it takes a little push. Not all wishes come true, not all stories end w/, “and hey lived happily ever after.”

Sometimes we have to part because of circumstances beyond our control. We have to suffer, if it would mean happiness for others. We have to temporarily to let go of the pain. Every beginning has its end, as every dawn has its dusk. It is something we can’t control, something we have to live up…Beautiful things are built in the foundation of pain. It is through pain that we become stronger. It is through the many times that we get hurt that we learn to make lasting and fruitful relationship. Time can heal even the deepest wound love brings. We know it hurts, but pain will always be a part of loving. Love isn’t eternal, its also fades away and dies. We should not die w/ it, life has to go on even we have to start alone. The mistakes we make should make us wiser and the pain love bring should make us stronger…

There is no certainty in this world. We should cherish what we have now, for tomorrow they may be no more. It’s true that losing someone dear to us can be devastatingly painful. Cry when we have to. Pray that our tears will wash away the pain we feel inside. Let every sleepless nights open our minds to reality and each day teach our hearts to love again…

Never let go w/o trigging and never give up w/o putting up a fight. Follow your heart and go where your destiny leads you. A lot of us take for granted those we hold dear in our heart, because we assume they will just be here hard to accept if we know, deep in our hearts, that we never took the chance to show them how they meant to us…

It’s over…
You’re gone…
But life has to go on…
Goodbye doesn’t always mean forever.
There will always be a place and time.
Where question will be answered, word will be.
Spoken…
Someday…
Somehow…
Somewhere…
Some when…

Echoes of the Heart

Sometimes we close our eyes and listen to the echoes of our heart. We all fall in love and sometimes we love so much that we loose ourselves in or own emotions. Not often and not we wonder why there are love grows cold. We should try to search for an answer and try to find where has gone wrong, but in the end we find ourselves where we started. We cannot question love, where it has its own way. Love will always be as it always has been, silent mysterious, and deeply profound. Many of us believed that love is forever, that love never dies, only to be disillusioned in the end. When we find our hearts empty and our hearts longing, we mistakenly have looked at love as a need to be fulfilled, but love is only a gift given to us. We should not hold it in our hands for we never find the strength to let it go, when it decides to leave. We should only embrace it warmth and glow while it last and then freely opened our arms when it is time to say goodbye. When we fall in love with someone we don’t want the feeling to end for it is everything we are everything that we wanted to be. We pray that love will stay and grow in our hearts, but if it doesn’t then we should never let our lives be taken by it, for life should not end where heartaches begin. There’s always a reason why we have to move on, when we have to say goodbye to the feelings we wanted to stay forever. Let us not have our hearts w/a heavy heart for love will have to sets wing free and find a place where it belongs. We may have lost it but again when we close our eyes and listen to the echoes of our hearts, we will hear that feeling were sounding violently forever. Then well know that it never left us, for the good that we have become because of love will always stay. It will always be there reminding us that we should be thankful and happy not because we have lost love but because for once in our lives that feeling live in our hearts and made us happy….